


six years is a long time

by castlestr33t



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Break Up, Coming Out, M/M, Reconciliation, Rimming, pretty boys are pretty stupid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-12
Updated: 2016-05-12
Packaged: 2018-06-07 23:50:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6830416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/castlestr33t/pseuds/castlestr33t
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“No, Zayn! You left me! You don’t get to come back!” He sobs, shakily wiping his tears away as he forces himself to take in deep, gulping breaths. </p><p>“I would have followed you anywhere. I promised you.” Zayn mumbles.</p><p>“But you didn’t!”  </p><p>// angsty post break up fic</p>
            </blockquote>





	six years is a long time

 

Three short raps against the front door interrupt Louis from finally being able to climb into bed after a long, tiresome day of dealing with asshole customers down at the restaurant. It makes him curse, his body tensing with frustration as he reluctantly shuffles on some clothes and moves through the living room to the front door.

“Harry,” Louis groans as he takes the latch off the door and swings the door open, a rush of cold wind rushing into the flat and clutching onto any remnants of heat that Louis had left. “It’s fucking 3am, can you go to Jeff’s instead?” he whines, rubbing his hands over his face. Harry has a tendency to turn up at God knows what hour, well beyond smashed, with the intention to cling onto him on his sofa after waxing poetry about the size of Jeff’s cock but Louis really isn’t in the mood for it tonight. Or morning. Fuck.

Damn his boss and his irregular shifts.

Except, when his eyes finally adjust to the moonlight bouncing off the doorframe, Harry isn’t there at the door. Louis takes half a second to gasp in a shocked breath before he’s swinging the door shut in the familiar stranger’s face.

“Louis!” Zayn groans from the other side of the door as Louis sinks down to the floor with his back pressed up against the door and his knees pressed tightly to his chest as he tries to stop himself from shaking.

This isn’t okay, this can’t be happening, that will not be Louis’ life, not anymore.

Louis bites down on his fist as he forces himself to take a few slow, deep breaths until the shaking in his bones stop. Okay, he’s got this. He has this. No big deal. Just an ex on your doorstep.

 _He’s not just an ex, you twat,_  some inner voice scoffs at Louis and Louis frowns, glaring down at his bare feet. Fucking subconscious.

Ten slow minutes go by and other than the fast rush of Louis’ heart fighting against the constraints of his ribcage, it seems almost silent. Nearly peaceful. Until he hears the unmistakable sound of Zayn’s low trembling singing voice filtering in through the door, torturing Louis sweetly because _hell no_. Zayn is singing their song. The song Louis lost his virginity to, and that is _not_ fair. Not after all this time.

The prospect of being fined by the council for disruptive noise is the only thing that finally forces Louis onto his feet. He swings the door open again and drags a shocked Zayn in by his ear, exerting all of his will power to not slam the door behind him.

Louis lets him go off Zayn’s (now red, Louis notes smugly) ear once he’s led the man into his bedroom and sinks back against the door. He feels like an idiot who’s just let a vampire into his home, his bedroom. But no way is he gonna let his neighbours get a glimpse of whatever this is from behind Louis’ flimsy living room curtains. At least his bedroom has shutters.

To be fair, Zayn could almost pass for a vampire these days, Louis muses as his eyes drag over Zayn’s figure, greedily drinking the man in. Whilst Zayn bitches and moans about his ear, rubbing his hand over it in an attempt to sooth himself, Louis watches him.

The last time Louis saw Zayn, the lad was in his plaid shirt phase and had only just recently invested in a nose ring in an effort to look cool. That was six years ago and although time certainly hadn’t mended Louis’ broken heart, it’s obviously done wonders for Zayn’s appearance. The Bradford boy has grown up, in physical appearance if in nothing else. His cheekbones are much more defined, his lowered eyelids letting his long eyelashes cast dusky shadows over his skin and he’s much taller than he was at seventeen years old. His style has changed too. Seventeen year old Zayn Malik’s daring choice of wearing nothing but baggy jeans and ripped plaid shirts is gone and instead has been replaced by dark washed out jeans that are much tighter (not as tight as Harry tends to opt for, mind) and a loose tank top that sags down to reveal a set of tattoos curling over his shoulders and chest, and the man – man, that’s what Zayn is now – is sporting a worn leather jacket, which seems to serve no other purpose than to complete the Bad Boy image. Louis drags his eyes away from the glittering rings on Zayn’s fingers and finally looks up into the man’s face.

“What are you doing here?” he asks bluntly, schooling his expression into a neutral front even though he’s pretty sure that Mrs. Randall from the other side of the flat complex can hear the beating of his heart.

Zayn blushes roughly and he swallows hard, taking a moment to drink Louis in with his dark eyes before he opens his mouth to talk. It makes Louis squirm and gasp in delight under the heavy intensity of it. Fuck, that’s not fair! Not after all these years.

Louis waves his hand and shuts Zayn up. “Whatever, I don’t care. You’re only in here because…” He trails off when he realises how close Zayn is and how dark his eyes are and how it would only take a soft nudge upwards for their lips to meet. Oh no.

“Because what?” Zayn murmurs quietly. Louis blinks and somehow in the last few seconds, Zayn has crowded Louis up against the bedroom wall, both hands planted on either side of Louis’ head.

“You… m’gonna get noise complaints with you sat outside my door like that…” Louis whispers finally after catching his breath and averting his gaze away from the sharp slope of Zayn’s jaw. Except now that their eyes are locked in an intense gaze, it’s a million times worse because Louis can’t look away, can’t search for any reason as to why he should.

This is NOT how this was meant to go. Not at all. But at the same time, Louis can’t quite find the power inside of him to push Zayn away, and the longer they stand there with minimal personal space in between them, the more Louis can’t stop thinking about the fact that he hasn’t gotten laid in a very, very long time.

Zayn’s lips move closer and brush against Louis’ jaw, leaving smoky kisses behind in his wake. If it weren’t for the solid wall behind him or the firm hand on his hip, Louis is pretty sure that he would’ve fallen down by this point.

“You think we won’t get noise complaints with me inside your flat, Lou?” Zayn whispers, his voice a dark mix of arousal and seduction and yep, Louis can’t think straight.

“I…“ Louis gets cut off with a loud moan when Zayn’s hand finally palms Louis’ ass through his sweatpants.

“Because, I think,” his ex-boyfriend whispers as his large palm slowly massages Louis’ ass through the soft fabric. “that you’re being quite loud considering you’re the one that is somehow worried about noise complaints.”

Louis whimpers loudly and pushes back eagerly into Zayn’s hand whilst Zayn’s hips come forward to press his crotch firmly against Louis’, making the blue eyed man have no option other than to be pinned hard into the wall.

“I’ve been louder,” Louis pants and Zayn chuckles dryly against Louis’ throat.

“I know. Believe me.”

Suddenly, Louis pushes Zayn off him with all his force and takes a moment to breathe heavily against the wall, his chest rising and falling quickly. He’d only managed to push Zayn off successfully thanks to his secret weapon of surprise but it does the trick. Except now that he can see Zayn in all his glory, he looks even more of a temptation to Louis’ sex deprived body.

“I miss…” Zayn starts before Louis pushes Zayn again, this time to stumble back onto his bed.

“No.” Louis states firmly, climbing into Zayn’s lap and kissing him hard, making Zayn shut up and redirect all his attention back to Louis and Louis’ body and Louis’ needs.

Sex. This is all it is, Louis tells himself as he shoves Zayn’s leather jacket down his arms. He just needs a good fuck and he’ll be fine.

Zayn’s arms quickly wrap around Louis’ body, pulling him in closer like he’s scared that Louis is gonna change his mind if he isn’t distracted for long enough. Zayn’s hands squeeze Louis’ hips as Louis slowly moves his hips in teasing circles over Zayn’s crotch and his breath seems to leave his lungs once he starts to feel the fattening up of Zayn’s cock from beneath him. Fuck, it’s been long. So long since he’s felt that.

Whimpering, Louis breaks from the kiss to tug his shirt off his head and he fists handfuls of Zayn’s tank top, pulling him close enough so that their lips are mere inches from touching but Louis doesn’t close the gap between them and neither does Zayn, content enough to let Louis take momentary control of the situation.

“You gonna fuck me, Z?” Louis pants quietly, licking his lips slowly as his blue eyes dart from Zayn’s eyes to his open mouth before returning back to Zayn’s dark, unreadable gaze. He waits for Zayn’s affirmative nod before he’s pressing their lips together in a short, hard kiss and pushing Zayn onto his back.

Zayn whines when Louis climbs away from him, making his way up to the head of the bed on his hands and knees. Louis is a few inches off from where he needs to be when he feels Zayn’s large hands catch on Louis’ hips and holds him steady. Then he feels warm breath ghost over his neck whilst strong, determined fingers slowly rub his hole through the heavy material of his sweatpants.

“Z?” Louis asks, voice unsure and breathy as he rocks back into Zayn’s touch.

Zayn’s hand slides into Louis’ pants and cups Louis’ bare flesh in his palm as his lips drag against Louis’ throat. “Wanna eat you out baby, please, can I?” he pants into Louis’ ear.

Holy shit.

“Y-yes!” Louis chokes out, his whole body shaking with anticipation as he smacks Zayn’s hand away to kick his sweatpants off his lower half and leaning back into Zayn’s touch.

His ex-boyfriend hums contentedly at the back of his throat as he lets his rough artist’s hands roam all over Louis’ petite figure, stroking circles over his nipples before dragging down Louis’ soft tummy, caressing Louis’ sensitive inner thighs and finally resting on Louis’ round hips.

Gently using force, Zayn pushes Louis down onto his front so that Louis’ ass is up in the air but his face is low to the mattress, cushioned by the pillows. Louis turns his face to the side so that he can breathe, his hands fisted tightly in the bedsheets. He’s trembling, he can feel it and it only ceases to a lower extent when Zayn fits his hands over Louis’ ass and tentatively blows hot air across Louis’ hole.

“Ah!” Louis cries out, his hips arching back when Zayn finally fits his mouth over Louis’ neglected hole, sliding his pink tongue in between Louis’ cheeks.

Zayn shushes him with soothing circles being rubbed into his hips as his tongue makes small, flicking motions over Louis’ hole. Louis forces himself to take in deep breaths before blowing them back out slowly as Zayn slowly sucks and licks at his rim. When Zayn’s tongue slips past his rim and finally licks inside, Louis gives out a short cry, gasping loudly into the pillow as he tries to grind back against Zayn’s mouth but Zayn’s strong hands hold him still, making it impossible to do anything other than take whatever Zayn has to give him.

Heat curls over Louis’ body like an invisible blanket, carrying him out to a state of euphoria as Zayn slowly pulls Louis’ hips back to lick at a deeper and much better angle. It makes Louis’ thighs burn slightly and seventeen year old Zayn Malik definitely would’ve never given it to him like this. Their old fucks were slow and sweet and as far as Louis can remember, their first time trying rimming only ended in Louis giggling loudly after Zayn had nearly broken his nose when Louis’ hips had gone backwards into the touch with too much eagerness. Twenty three year old Zayn Malik is a completely different story – his mouth is talented, his hands are strong and firm and his hot breath is sending Louis into a moaning mess. There’s no uncertainty or anything held back from him and Louis is – for a lack of a better expression – in love.

Two fingers slide in alongside Zayn’s sharp tongue and Louis nearly comes from the overwhelming sensation of it all. “Z, no, no no!” He gasps out loud, trying to scramble away before Zayn wraps one strong arm around him and keeps him held down as his fingers curl inside of Louis to gently scrape against his prostate.

Louis is a mess –rightfully so – and when Zayn finally resurfaces, so is he. His hair is a mess, worse than before, his lips swollen and wet, his eyes darker and more focused on Louis’ writhing body as his (ex) lover turns onto his back to look up at Zayn pleadingly. Zayn’s tank top is crumpled and a bit torn as well, from the way Louis had been grabbing at him earlier.

Zayn tugs his tank top off his body and shuffles his tight jeans and boxers down his legs, kicking his clothes away to the floor. Louis only gets a glimpse of Zayn’s sculpted body before their lips are crashing together again, full of desire and need and want and a million other desperate emotions mixed in.

“Fuck me, Z, c’mon” Louis whimpers when he feels the full hardness of Zayn’s cock pressed up against his stretched hole. He swallows hard and kicks Zayn’s ass with the heel of his foot. “Condoms are in the top drawer”

His ex nods and moves to grab a condom, quickly rolling the condom down onto his hard cock. Louis takes a moment to admire the shape of Zayn’s defined arms as well as the intricate art that decorates them. Louis wants to run his tongue over every inch.

Then Zayn is pressing the head of his cock up against Louis’ entrance and he has more _pressing_ issues to be concerned with. The blue eyed man wraps his thighs around Zayn’s hips and watches him with bated breath, bitten lips and wide blue eyes as Zayn slowly pushes into him. Zayn’s mouth is moving against his ear, telling Louis how much of a good boy he is, how tight he is and Louis can’t do anything but moan back in response and beg Zayn to give him “more, more, more.”

Zayn slowly bottoms out, sliding into him with ease – just like all those years ago – and Louis cries out softly, his back arching up off the mattress as his hands scratch roughly at the clean, unmarred expanse of Zayn’s back.

With a soft growl, Zayn pins Louis’ wrists above his head and starts fucking him properly, their skin slapping together with an audible sound as he thrusts deeply into Louis with soft, breathless grunts pressed into Louis’ skin.

He isn’t sure whether it’s due to the relentless rhythm that Zayn has set up, the rough stubble scratching his sensitive skin or the hard grip that restrains his wrists well out of control but soon Louis is begging, begging to come, begging to scream as his thighs tremble uncontrollably underneath the hard fuck.

“Come for me Lou, that’s it, beautiful, c’mon” Zayn pants, his voice low and dominant against Louis’ ear and Louis comes with a loud cry, gasping loudly when he feels Zayn come not two seconds later.

Their sweating bodies press closer to each other, panting mouths finding solace in each other as the pair slowly wind down until they’ve both stopped gasping and trembling in a post-orgasm haze. Zayn presses a wet kiss to Louis’ mouth before he’s pulling out carefully, tying up the condom and throwing it in the bin on the far side of the room. Louis is too sleepy to point out that he missed. Then he cleans Louis up with a discarded wet wipe from the same drawer that he found the condom, and Louis decides it would be mean to point out his flaw.

Making a quiet sound at the back of his throat, Louis smiles when Zayn moves his body to curl around Louis from behind and slings his arm around Louis’ waist, pulling the blanket up over their bodies. Zayn presses a sleepy kiss to the back of Louis’ neck as his rough hand paints patterns over Louis’ skin.

For a while, everything is okay, Louis muses as he falls asleep in Zayn’s arms and has the best night’s sleep he’s had in six years.

-

Louis wakes up feeling like he’s burning from immense heat and it takes him a good few minutes before he’s slowly, reluctantly blinking his eyes open and accepting the natural sunlight as part of the furniture as it filters in through a crack in the curtains. He stretches his body out with a groan, breathing shakily at the delicious burn in his lower back because it’s been a while since he’s had that and a long while since he’s felt like he needed it ever again.

It takes him a few moments before he realises why he’s so fucking hot. A warm body is plastered to his body, one arm curled heavily around his waist and a soft pair of lips pressing into his neck. The person behind him must be awake, Louis reasons, if the warm hand rubbing over his bare stomach.

Louis turns around with a soft whine, pressing himself into the heat for a few long seconds before he focuses in on the art that litters the smooth skin of his partner. He finds himself reaching out and brushing his fingertips around the edges of the detailed tattoos as his chin lifts up to look into Zayn’s eyes.

He almost voices out the word, “home”.

Zayn is watching him fondly, his fingertips grazing the bottom of Louis’ spine as he holds him close and Louis’ eyes soften momentarily before years of bullshit and tears flash in front of his eyes. Hushed laughter and wandering hands and happy memories mixed in with fights at three in the morning and reddened wrists from being gripped too roughly and Louis’ broken heart.

The blue eyed man quickly blinks tears away and clears his throat awkwardly as he pulls his hands into his chest, his hands moulding against his heart as if that would do anything to stop his heart from bursting straight out of his chest.

“You need to go, Zayn,” he whispers quietly, averting his gaze from Zayn’s face and he tries to move away from Zayn’s warmth but Zayn stops him with a firm hand on Louis’ lower back, pressing their warm, sweaty bodies together once again. Louis bites back a whimper and clenches his jaw hard, trying to stop himself from saying anything stupid.

“Zayn,” he repeats, quieter this time.

Zayn shakes his head firmly. “No.”

“Let go. Please.” Louis whispers quietly and something in his voice must persuade Zayn because he lets Louis go without a fight, if not a little bit reluctantly.

Louis climbs out of bed and turns his back on Zayn as he rummages in his drawers for a pair of sweatpants, pulling them up to ride low on his hips. He needs to go shopping.

He turns around once he thinks that he’s finally got ahold on himself and he places his hands on his hips, looking at Zayn with a more solid, steely expression. “You need to go.”

Zayn scoffs, moving to sit up in Louis’ bed, the blanket falling down his chest to pool around his hips and Louis has to physically restrain himself from going down the thought pathway of “he belongs there, with you”. It’s even harder to stop himself from crawling back into bed with him but he manages, somehow.

Louis Tomlinson deserves a fucking award for that.

“Like hell I’m leaving you when you’re looking at me like that,” Zayn says, barely above a whisper but loud enough for Louis to hear.

“I-I don’t know what you’re… talking about, Malik,” Louis shoots back, cursing himself inwardly for stammering. Fuck.

Zayn runs a hand through his messy nest of hair and Louis does not – _does not_ – let his eyes travel over the bulge of his sculpted bicep.

“You’re giving me the exact same look you gave me right before we made things official. That inner conflict look, Lou,” Zayn says, his voice an octave lower and much more nostalgic than before.

“I loved you, Zayn!” Louis snaps, throwing a pillow at Zayn’s face which the man expertly catches in one hand. Cunt. “And… and just because we broke up doesn’t mean I can fucking turn it off, alright?! I’m not some emotionless twat like you!”

Zayn clenches his jaw and shakes his head at Louis. “It’s been six years Lou. If there was nothing left between us, you wouldn’t have that look in your eyes. True or false?”

Louis hates him. God, he hates him.

Louis sighs and licks his lips slowly, crawling back onto the bed and straight into Zayn’s lap. He plants his hands firmly on Zayn’s chest and he hates it. He hates how right this feels, he hates that Louis feels at home in Zayn’s arms.

“What, you think I should’ve found closure by now, baby?” He purrs quietly, a seductive tone to his voice.

Zayn sighs lowly with a sense of relief, smiling widely as he nods.

“Exactly! Babe, maybe we just need to start again or someth-“

Louis cuts him off with a sharp slap to his cheek and the shocked look on Zayn’s face is almost too good for words.

“What the fuck was that?!” Zayn growls, half pissed off, half shocked as he rubs at his reddened cheek.

“You know what, _babe_?” Louis sneers, pushing at Zayn’s shoulder roughly just to feel something. “It’s a bit fucking difficult finding closure when your boyfriend dumps you over the phone and then disappears for six fucking years! That kind of shit is kind of hard to move on from!” He snaps.

The air is tense and silent as Louis stays seated in Zayn’s lap, his chest rising and falling quickly as he watches Zayn with wet eyes. “Did- did you even love me? Or... was I just something to put on your dick and leave?”

A short, distant ringing from the living room alerts the pair to the fact that Zayn’s phone is going off but neither of them move, letting it ring out until there’s nothing but Louis’ laboured breathing and Zayn’s tortured eyes accompanying the silence of the flat.

Zayn breaks the silence.

“I fucked up. You fucked up. But don’t say I didn’t love you. That’s all I ever did,” he whispers quietly, his dark eyes burning into Louis’ light ones. “Please… Boo?”

Louis bursts into sudden tears at the nickname that Zayn had used for the first time after he’d met six year old Louis. They’d been hiding in their secret treehouse on Halloween night and looking back on it now, Louis realises that Zayn was probably trying to add to the spooky atmosphere but Zayn never fought him on it when Louis took it as a nickname for just the two of them. He smacks Zayn’s hands away when the man tries to comfort him.

“No, Zayn! You left me! You don’t get to come back!” He sobs, shakily wiping his tears away as he forces himself to take in deep, gulping breaths.

“I would have followed you anywhere. I promised you.” Zayn mumbles.

“But you didn’t!” Louis shouts in frustration, shoving at Zayn’s shoulders except this time Zayn rolls them over and curls his fingers around Louis’ wrists, pinning them down into the mattress and sliding his thigh in between Louis’ thighs to keep Louis from squirming and escaping from under him.

In any other circumstance, or if this were anyone but Zayn, Louis would probably freak out and cry harder but Zayn. Zayn makes him feel safe and wanted and protected and the weight of Zayn’s body on top of his calms him, sobers him even. Their eyes meet, hurt reflected in each other’s eyes as the couple stay entwined like that.

“Why did you leave?” Louis whispers, his voice strained with hurt and confusion. “You… I was so lost, Zayn!”

Louis is afraid that Zayn isn’t gonna answer him, that he’s going to just laugh in his face and leave him a wrecked mess once again but he doesn’t. Zayn licks his dry lips and closes his eyes for a few long seconds before he opens his eyes again to look at Louis.

“I was scared,” Zayn whispers and shakes his head at Louis’ expression. “Don’t. Just let me talk. I was scared because you were going to go off to university and leave me behind and fall in love with someone who was actually out to their parents and would be able to show you off in front of everyone and anyone that would look at the pair of you for longer than two seconds. So I… fuck it was so stupid, baby. I came out to my parents.”

Louis pales significantly. His mouth goes dry and he shakes his head vehemently. “No. No, you… d-don’t say that, Zayn, please.” Louis is begging now, begging for Past Zayn to not be so fucking stupid because God knows, Louis has never met a more homophobic pair than Zayn’s parents. He flinches inwardly at the prospect of what they must’ve done to Zayn when he told them.

Zayn chuckles dryly and nods his head. “Yeah. They hated me. Kicked me out, cut me off, the lot. I just… I thought that maybe if I was out, then one day when you’d come home from university, you’d think I was _perfect_ ” he pauses to snort softly at himself and shakes his head. “But you… you never came home.”

“No,” he whispers. “I never did… Mum didn’t want me to come home to a town where my heart got b-broken so she moved.” Saying it out loud sounds so stupid but at the time, Louis had burst into tears out of gratitude for his mother. If she had stayed…

Zayn smiles sadly and nods. “I know,” he murmurs, taking in a deep breath and releasing it out slowly. “They wouldn’t tell me where you went or anything, no one in town. It… sucked.”

What an understatement, Louis thinks.

Louis slides his hand out from under Zayn’s grip and licks his lips shyly. “How’d you find me?” he murmurs, dragging his fingers through Zayn’s hair in a soothing motion that had always worked on his boy in the past.

Zayn responds to the sweet touch immediately, his eyes dropping shut. “After my parents…. Yeah. I, um, moved to Manchester with whatever money I had left and moved in with my cousin down here. I managed to get a job in this bar near Deansgate so I’ve done alright. It’s nights, so I get all day to sleep and do art and stuff… My cousin is the only one that knows about what happened between you and me and he… he said that he had a friend that knew you. Ended up giving me your address like a year ago but I didn’t find the courage until last night.” He pauses and licks his lips again. “Didn’t think you’d wanna see me again. Guess I was partly right about that.”

Louis can’t fucking breathe. “You’ve been in my city for the past six years.”

Zayn’s eyes slowly open and he nods stiffly. “I… yeah.”

“I really wanna hit you again,” Louis deadpans although he can’t quite keep the love and fondness from blossoming in the centre of his chest.

Zayn smiles crookedly. “I deserve it.”

Louis smiles sadly and shakes his head, pulling Zayn down for a long, deep kiss which Zayn presses into with acute eagerness, sighing happily against Louis’ mouth.

“I love you,” the pair say at the same time, sending them both into a fit of laughter.

“Don’t go,” Louis whispers and Zayn shakes his head.

“No more leaving,” he promises, much to Louis’ delight.

Louis kisses Zayn again, snogging him slowly in his bed and he welcomes the warm feeling of _home_ that accompanies the feeling of Zayn’s soft lips pressed against his.

 

 

 


End file.
